چاره عصبانیت خانم‌ها در خانه چیست؟/What’s the difference between women’s anger at home?

بارها گفته شده است که عصبانیت، یک علامت و نشانه است و بیشتر به عنوان معلول مطرح است تا علت. بنابراین باید با اقدا‌م‌های لازم از شدت گرفتن این رفتار پیشگیری کرد. زمانی که بروز یک رفتار مثلا عصبانیت در فرد باعث اذیت و آزار خود فرد و همچنین دیگران می‌شود و نمی‌تواند آن را کنترل کند، باید هر چه زودتر نزد متخصص مربوطه برود.

یکی از کاربران گفته‌اند که ۴۸ سال سن دارم و خانمم ۳۵ ساله است (دختر خاله /پسر خاله‌). دو فرزند ۱۵ و ۱۰ ساله داریم که هر دو سالم و زرنگ هستند. ولی مشکلی که داریم عصبی بودن و از کوره در رفتن خانمم بخاطر بچه‌ها است که هر روز بهانه و ایراد از غذا (بیشتر اعتراض بچه‌ها از غذاست) می‌گیرند. همسرم عصبانی شده و پی‌درپی و یک ریز حرف می‌زند طوری که هم اعصاب خودش داغون شده و هم بچه‌ها اذیت می‌شوند. پیش مشاوره هم رفته و با او حرف زده و می‌داند که کارش اشتباست ولی باز هم عصبانی می‌شود و از کوره در می‌رود. لطفا مرا راهنمایی کنید.

به گزارش سلامت نیوز، دکتر علی باغبانیان، روانپزشک و استاد دانشگاه علوم پزشکی تهران در پاسخ به این سوال کاربران در گفت‌وگو با سلامانه گفت: «دلایل متعددی می‌تواند در بروز عصبانیت و پرخاشگری نقش داشته باشد بنابراین باید علت اصلی ریشه‌یابی و مشخص شود. از سوی دیگر باید دید فرد عصبانی بیشتر در چه موقعیت‌هایی دچار عصبانیت می‌شود. با توجه به اینکه شما اشاره کرده‌اید بیشترین عصبانیت همسرتان به دلیل بهانه‌گیری بچه‌ها از نوع غذاست باید دید که آیا واقعا با تغییر نوع غذا یا روش پخت آن این مشکل برطرف خواهد شد یا نه؟!»

وی در ادامه افزود: «اگر تغییر در روند و سبک آشپزی باعث بهبود این شرایط می‌شود، شما باید در این مورد به همسرتان کمک کنید. وقتی بچه‌ها از غذا ایراد می‌گیرند شما به دنبال تایید رفتار آنها نباشید و اینکه مثلا بگویید بچه‌ها راست می‌گن بهتره به جای اینکه سیب‌زمنی را آبپز کنی، سرخ‌کرده آن را تهیه می‌کردی و… با بچه‌ها صحبت کنید که به دنبال بهانه‌جویی نباشند و ایرادهای بی‌مورد نگیرند. از طرف دیگر هم به همسرتان کمک کنید که کمی در سبک آشپزی تغییر ایجاد کند و بعد مشخص شود که آیا واقعا این تغییرات روندی در بهبود شرایط داشته است یا نه.»

این روانپزشک تاکید کرد که بارها گفته شده است که عصبانیت، یک علامت و نشانه است و بیشتر به عنوان معلول مطرح است تا علت. بنابراین باید با اقدا‌م‌های لازم از شدت گرفتن این رفتار پیشگیری کرد. زمانی که بروز یک رفتار مثلا عصبانیت در فرد باعث اذیت و آزار خود فرد و همچنین دیگران می‌شود و نمی‌تواند آن را کنترل کند، باید هر چه زودتر نزد متخصص مربوطه برود. بنابراین بهتر است مجددا با همسرتان به یک روانشناس یا روانپزشک مراجعه کنید. قطعا آنها تکنیک‌هایی را برای کنترل این عصبانیت به همسرتان خواهند آموخت.

باغبانیان همچنین یادآور شد که گاهی تکنیک‌های ساده‌ای به افراد ارائه می‌شود تا با استفاده از آنها بتوانند استرس، اضطراب، عصبانیت و پرخاشگری‌شان را کنترل کنند ولی فرد به این توصیه‌ها توجهی نمی‌کند و تاثیر آن را کم می‌داند. درحالی که از جمله مواردی که می‌تواند باعث فروکش شدن این رفتار شود، تخلیه احساسات و هیجانات است. از این رو از همسرتان بخواهید وقتی عصبانی است، آن را روی کاغذ بنویسد که چرا و به چه دلیل عصبانی است. اگر دوست ندارد که فردی هم این یادداشت‌ها را بخواند سپس آن را پاره کند و از بین ببرد. حتی مچاله کردن کاغذ یا پاره کردن آن هم در کاهش عصبانیت موثر است.

این استاد دانشگاه علوم پزشکی تهران درنهایت در توصیه به این کاربر گفت: «توصیه می‌شود در ساعت‌هایی که در منزل هستید برخی از مسئولیت کارها را شما به گردن بگیرید مثلا بچه‌ها را برای تفریح به پارک یا خرید ببرید. به این ترتیب همسرتان فرصتی برای استراحت و تجدید نیرو پیدا می‌کند. علاوه بر این، حتما از او بخواهید در کلاس‌های ورزشی به خصوص یوگا ثبت‌نام کند. گاهی یکنواختی کار روزانه خانه هم دست به دست می‌دهد تا با جرقه زدن یک عمل یا رفتاری که باعث عصبانیت می‌شود آن را تشدید کند. سعی کنید در طول هفته هم حتی شده برای چند ساعت همسرتان را برای تفریح بیرون ببرید. او را شاد کنید و اگر برایتان مقدور است حتی تغییراتی را در نحوه چیدمان وسایل منزل بدهید.»

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